Walk Away
by Darkest Dawn
Summary: What do you do when you know something's bad for youbut you still can't let go?


**_This fic isn't exactly one of my best ones, but I just felt like posting it, I wrote it over a year ago and I feel like its something that a lot of people can relate to, I'm sure that many girls -myself included- have been in a situation like this at least once, maybe not this serious -mine wasn't- but to some extent they've felt the hopelessness of a situation like this one. And yes I meant it to be a Draco Hermione fic, but i never used names so it would be easier to identify with. And the song is "Walk Away" by Christina Aguilera it's really good to listen to through this._**

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**Walk Away**

**By Leah**

_What do you do when you know something's bad for you and you still can't let go?_

_I was naïve, your love was like candy _

_Artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping,_

She sighed and forced on a smile as she saw him walk by with the usual gaggle of girls. She turned back to her friends and tried to speak, ignoring the choking feeling that settled in her chest.

_Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed _

_I was prey in your bed and devoured completely_

He was gorgeous, that much she knew, that much was known to everyone. And sometimes, he was hers. But only sometimes, sometimes that only they knew of. Times that she wished the world could know of. But she knew she was never his.

_And it hurts my soul _

_'Cause I can't let go_

He hurt her, and he did it without care. He tortured her, he bent her soul, twisted her heart. She had never known such pain had existed until their encounters began. She had never known of many things until their secret meetings started.

_All these walls are cavin' in I can't stop my sufferin'_

_I hate to show _

_That I've lost control_

She was one of the many she was sure. One of the many girls he had done this to, the girls he caused to feel this way about him. That thought alone made her want to scream, cry, hit something, just anything to make herself feel better. Feel normal. Feel like she did before he had moved into her life.

_'Cause I, I keep goin' right back _

_To the one thing that I need _

_To walk away from_

She loved him, at least she thought so. Was love the reason she wanted to cry everytime she saw him with a new girl? Was it the reason she wanted him to ask her to be his only one? Maybe it was. She didn't know.

_I need to get away from ya,_

_Need to walk away from ya _

_Get away, walk away, walk away_

Maybe it was why she could never leave. So many maybe's clouded her mind. Maybe if she we're different, maybe if she had done something different, maybe if life were less cruel. Maybe then they'd have each other.

_I should have known that I was used for amusement _

_Couldn't see through the smoke, it was all an illusion_

She knew she meant nothing to him, she wasn't stupid. She knew she was nothing more than a good time. Nothing more than one more good fuck to add to his list of conquests. But his words, his sweet words, "baby, "sweetie," they blurred her mind. They dulled her senses. They made her feel what she had always wanted from a man but could never get.

_Now, I've been lickin' my wounds, but the venom seeps deeper _

_We both can seduce but, darlin', you hold me prisoner_

She thought that she was healed from the pain he would always cause her with his silence. But she knew deep down that she could never heal. She cried some nights. She hated herself so much. She had given in to him over and over. Every-time he would beckon, she would be there.

_Oh, I'm about to break I can't stop this ache _

_I'm addicted to your allure _

_And I'm fiendin' for a cure_

He was bad for her. He was the opposite of everything she needed, everything that made sense. But god, she couldn't stop herself from going back to him. He was a drug, and she lived for the high.

_Every step I take _

_Leads to one mistake _

_I keep goin' right back _

_To the one thing that I need_

She had tried time and time again to end it, end their rendezvous. End everything. She tried, but never could. He held her heart; he held every part of her. He was the devil in disguise. She needed to run, but she knew that she never could.

_Oh, I can't mend this torn state I'm in_

_Getting nothing in return _

_What did I do to deserve _

_The pain of this slow burn?_

Her mind yelled at her for what she did. Her heart bled each time he left her without a backward glance. She needed to end it; she was being driven to depression, or insanity...maybe both?

_And everywhere I turn,_

_I keep goin' right back_

He was bad for her, but she couldn't just walk away. Maybe that was what love was?

_To the one thing that I need _

_To walk away from_

Maybe that was why she did it. To feel love? She had never felt it before. But when he held her in his arms. When he touched her, when he kissed her, when he made her moan with his every caress, she swore she felt passion there.

_I need to get away from ya,_

_Need to walk away from ya,_

Or maybe he was just a good actor in those moments. Maybe he did that to every girl he was with. But it didn't matter, that feeling he awoke in her, was that what it felt like to be truly alive?

_Every time I try to grasp for air,_

_I am smothered in despair _

_It's never over, over_

She felt herself slipping each day. She didn't deserve this, she could do better. She was smart, beautiful, charming, at least that's what everyone else told her. But...there was something, something that always pulled her back to him. Maybe it was the feelings he stirred in her. The ones that she had never felt before. Maybe it was that. Maybe it was just his looks. Maybe it was something she didn't understand just yet.

_Seems I'll never wake from this nightmare _

_I let out a silent pray _

_Let it be over, over_

But no matter what, no matter her reasoning she would always go to him. Whenever he called to her, she would run to him. She would be what he wanted, and pray that she could be what he needed.

_Oh!_

_Inside I'm screaming, begging, pleading, no more_

_Now, what to do?_

_My heart has been bruised _

_So sad but it's true _

_Each treat reminds me of you_

He never spared her a glance, no, that would be wrong. But she knew she spent her days pining after him. Watching with jealous sad eyes as he wooed another unsuspecting female. She would always feel herself comparing herself in beauty to them. Maybe that was why he didn't want her to be his. Was she not pretty enough?

_Oh, it hurts my soul _

_'Cause I can't let go _

_All these walls are cavin' in _

_I can't stop my sufferin'_

Self-doubt built in her daily. Her friends' words of praise to her looks, or intelligence didn't register anymore. He had wormed into her mind. He didn't know he did it. But he influenced everything she did now a days.

_I hate to show _

_That I've lost control_

When did she become this...thing? This pathetic excuse for a female. He made her hate herself. He made her change herself. He made her miserable. But sometimes...sometimes, when he would smile at her, or "accidentally" brush against her, she felt as if were worth it. She felt as if he had noticed her.

'_Cause I keep goin' right back _

_To the one thing I need, _

_Oh I'm about to break_

She was disgusted by herself. She loathed the being she had become. No one was worth this. No other man had turned her into a piece of clay that could be sculpted into whatever he would please.

_And I can't stop this ache _

_I'm addicted to your allure _

_And I'm fiendin' for a cure_

Everything was to impress him. She had become one of them. One of those girls she had always resented, hated, pitied. She couldn't help it though. She understood how they felt now. She understood why they did it. She understood their false hope.

_Every step I take _

_Leads to one mistake _

_I keep goin' right back _

_T__o the one thing I need, oh_

She wished constantly he would show her affection in public. Show her he cared, show her she was more than trash, show her she meant something to him. She needed it. But no matter what she did, dieting, tattooing, piercings, wearing makeup, none of that changed his perception of her. Nothing moved his eyes from the fake and easy girls he preyed on in public.

_I can't mend this torn state I'm in _

_Getting nothing in return _

_What did I do to deserve _

_The pain of this slow burn?_

But was that not what she had become -fake and easy- just for him? Didn't she change herself, something she vowed never to do; just for him? Didn't she spend her time wishing he would see her as more than just another girl? Maybe that's what those girls did too. Maybe she wasn't the only one.

_And everywhere I turn,_

_I keep goin' right back _

_T__o the one thing that I need _

_To walk away from_

It had to end between them. It killed her with each passing day. She rarely smiled, or laughed as much. She felt so withdrawn, as if she was looking at everything from a seat in a theatre. She was numb to her own emotions. All over a boy.

_I need to get away from ya,_

_Need to walk away from ya_

He was pure evil. Manipulating her, using her, changing her beliefs in what was right. Changing who she thought she was. Being able to control her, doing what no man had ever come close to.

_I need to get away from ya,_

_Need to walk away from ya_

But she would always go to him. Always.

_Only thing I need to do_

_Is walk away from you_


End file.
